Swiss Company Turns Ashes Into Diamonds

When you die, your body will either be planted in the earth, placed in a mausoleum, cremated, or perhaps preserved cryogenically. For some people their fate will be much different than that: their ashes will be transformed into diamonds. Yes, thanks to a process developed by a Swiss company, Algordanza, ashes can be turned into something beautiful and worn by loved ones.

At Algordanza’s laboratory, more than one dozen machines run constantly turning ashes into beauty. Potassium and calcium, which makes up some 85% of the ashes, are first separated from the carbon. Then the carbon is subjected to high heat and tremendous pressure, a process which compresses the remains into graphite, a carbon allotrope, or a different form of carbon. The complete transformation process is lengthy, some six to eight weeks in all, but when complete a crude diamond is the result, ready for polishing and cutting.

Diamonds Vary In Color

Since it only takes approximately 500 grams of ashes to make a diamond, not all ashes are needed as the average body leaves behind between 2.5 and 3 kg of ashes. The color of the diamond varies from dark blue to almost white, a difference one Algordanza representative says is a reflection of the decedent’s personality.

The company receives 40 to 50 commissions monthly and at a cost ranging from approximately US$4400 to US$16700, is actually cheaper than what a burial costs in Germany: US$19,000. The price differential is based on the size of the resultant diamond which can range from 0.25 to 1 carat. The cost for setting the diamond is extra.

The Booming “Life Gem” Movement

Since its founding in 2004, Algordanza has gone international and now has twenty locations worldwide. Other companies are now providing the same type of service (called life gems) in Russia, the US, Spain, and the Ukraine. China and India are considered to be strong future markets while Japan provides the largest number of customers for Algordanza with two to four urns arriving daily.

So, if death comes knocking today will you be ready? Regardless, your survivors may decide to keep you around forever by turning your ashes into something beautiful if not a little bit cryptic.

A Bra No One Would Burn–5 Million Dollar Black Diamond Miracle

Every Christmas, Victoria’s Secret comes out with a one-of-a-kind, diamond-encrusted bra that is priced in the millions of dollars.  The most expensive one designed so far was $12.5 million, so it seems that this year’s model is practically a bargain at only $5 million.  Traditionally, these slightly extravagant underclothes are made with perfect clear diamonds, so American jewelry designer Martin Katz decided to think outside the box and make skivvies out of perfect black diamonds instead. 
Made with over 3,900 gems, the “Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle Bra” consists of over 3,600 black diamonds, 117 certified 1-carat clear diamond rounds, and 34 rubies.  It also features, as a centerpiece—or bullseye—two black diamond drops totaling 100 carats.  In case that isn’t incentive enough to own this, it is also a “Miracle Bra”, a specific style of support garment that is designed for ‘maximum cleavage enhancement’ (read: raises your chest to chin-level).  Since the previous diamond-laden underthings were only regular precious-gem bras, this one is more than a way to keep the girls up.  It is an experience.  You, too, can look like Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima for the low price of $5,000,000 (or, in layman’s terms, 81 years of work for the average American).

Adriana Lima, the freakishly beautiful Victoria’s Secret Angel, will be showing the black diamond bra in the annually- televised Christmas runway show on December 3.  She said: “I’m can’t wait to walk down the runway in this at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (UPI).  We forgive her the grammatical mistake because a: she is not a native English-speaker, and b: no one is really listening when she talks, anyway.  Until then, pictures of this gemstone/lingerie masterpiece can be seen in the Victoria’s Secret holiday catalogue, found on the coffee tables of women and in the bathrooms of men all over the country.

On a related note, Lima herself got quite a birthday present this year from her boyfriend, Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric: an engagement ring.  They plan to marry in Brazil in June of 2009.  Lima, a model since age 15, is famous not only for her beauty, but for her devotion to the Catholic beliefs on which she was raised.  According to style.com, she has said that “Sex is for marriage”, and will wait to experience it until she has a wedding ring.  Of course, that has only acted as catnip to countless male suitors, including Lenny Kravitz and various members of royalty.  Instead, it was an odd-looking Serb who won her heart. 

And he didn’t have to buy her a $5 million bra either…

The Cost Of Marrying Bridezilla: $73 Billion Annually

After attending one lavish wedding, you may have had gotten an inkling that marriage is big business in America. That isn’t hard to surmise given that most wedding ceremonies, receptions, and honeymoons cost couples tens of thousands of dollars.

What you may not have known is that the contribution to the economy is $73 billion annually. You read that right — marriage is an industry that does its part to fuel the national economy.

Leading the way, of course, are Hollywood celebrities and other well-heeled folks who think nothing of spending a few million dollars to hold the party to end all parties. At least until their marriage ends and they nab a new flame. And then, the next wedding party is held which clearly “outperforms” all earlier nuptials.

Conde Nast Bridal Media’s most recently published American Wedding Study (2006) revealed several points about the way that we marry:

• 2.3 million couples marry each year.

• The average wedding costs $27,852, a 48% increase over 1999, when all expense are included such as the reception, wedding rings, dresses, flowers and photography. The cost for outfitting the entire bridal party runs between $4000 and $6000.

• Average cost for a reception is $9,573 with the average reception size 180 people.

• Destination weddings are becoming much more common with a full 16% of couples electing to marry where they plan to honeymoon. Favorite destination venues include popular Caribbean spot which area also the most popular honeymoon destinations for couples who marry in the states.

So guys, when she says “yes” to your marriage proposal, make sure that her parents will pay for everything. Otherwise, hold onto your wallet and hope that bridezilla’s big day is a happy one.

Recession? Maybe so….

You know things are bad when the used engagement rings have left the pennysaver and wound up posted on the side of a telephone pole.

Good luck buddy!